April 3, 2007

On Procreation

Posted in Politics at 9:50 pm by Calico Jack

Once in a while, I get to read an op-ed which practically shrieks in fright at the perceived troubles — nay, horrors! — at which its author is facing in the world every day. Now, courtesy of the SFGate, Mark Morford tackles that desperately pressing issue which could end civilization as we know it: Even as fewer people identify themselves with the GOP, especially young voters, Republicans are having more babies. Here are several selected histrionic snippets for your reading pleasure:

One theory goes like this: Libs are generally more socially conscious and hence tend to actually give a modicum of thought to what it means to pop out a brood of children in this modern overstuffed age. Also, many other liberal bohos are (admittedly) happy selfish suckwads who want all the modern booty for themselves and won’t want to give up the Ducati and the plasma and the biannual trip to Cinque Terre for the sake of a pod of rug rats and 15 grand a year (each) for private kindergarten. Translation: Libs just aren’t procreating like they could/should be.

Conservative Christians, of course, have no such conscience. Among the right-wing God-lovin’ set, there is often little real awareness of planetary health or resource abuse or the notion that birth control is actually a very, very good idea indeed, and therefore it’s completely natural to worship at the altar of minivans and SUVs and megachurches and massive all-American entitlement and have little qualm about popping out six, seven, 19 gloopy tots to populate the world with frat boys and Ford F-150 buyers and food court managers….

Apparently, according to the research, four out of five kids actually stick with the political affiliation of their parents, generation after generation, with religious conservatives far more unlikely than their liberal brethren to allow their kids to develop the capacity for independent thought (given how it’s so, you know, dangerous to America). Also, one word: homeschooling. I’m just sayin’…

Either we are we headed toward a new dawn full of smart social liberalism, perhaps leading to concomitant ideas of peace and tolerance and a newly evolved American identity, or there is another massive group lurking in the shadows, entirely overlooked by Pew Research, a seething army of religious conservatives who are working like a spiritual STD to force us backward once again, much the way the Bush regime brutally reversed decades of social, environmental, fiscal and international progress and made war and isolationism and megachurch evangelicals the lords of the playground for a shocklingly painful blip of time.

Okay, I’ll grudgingly admit that I laughed rather hard at the article, even as I marveled at the vitriol spewing forth from its “Superiority complex? Who, me?” author. Yet here I am, having been homeschooled all of the way from preschool through my senior year of high school; and with three or four years’ passage of time afterwards, can now look back on my formative years and declare that I am quite capable of analyzing issues carefully and weighing opposing views before coming to my own conclusions — something which, regretfully, many of my peers seem to be incapable of doing. My mom, if asked, can recount thousands of hours spent discussing and debating politics and philosophy and religion with me; and even today there is nothing quite so satisfying as spending an hour with my parents as we tackle all sides of a divisive political issue.

It also strikes me as remarkable that the author’s liberal utopia includes peace, tolerance, and a new American identity; yet he displays a shockingly condescending attitude towards those whose political and religious views differ from his own. There is nothing I despise more than hypocrisy. Is that included in his utopia as well?

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