January 18, 2007


Posted in Random Oddments at 10:02 pm by Calico Jack

I’ll be the first one to admit that I suffer from a rather loose interpretation of speed limit laws. As a friend once told me, “They’re speed suggestions, not limits.” Perhaps it’s because I’m always in a hurry to get somewhere, but my definition of speeding doesn’t really kick in until one is about ten miles an hour over the posted limit. Having said that, let me also say that I have never been in an accident, and I have never gotten a ticket. I don’t tailgate behind cars, I always use my turn signal, I slow down drastically when there are adverse weather conditions, and I pay attention to both the road and the other cars around me. I just happen to mostly pass cars instead of being the one passed.

Today I was almost in an accident, and it had nothing to do at all with how fast I was going. I was driving on the interstate in the left lane, following an Oldsmobile whose driver was comfortably traveling the same speed I was (about seventy-five miles an hour.) We were both in the left lane because we were coming up on a semi truck which (big surprise) was moving quite a bit more slowly than we were. I glanced at my rear-view mirror and saw a thirty-something guy coming up behind me at a rather alarming speed.

That’s the car he was driving–a Mercedes CL550. They start around $100,000 and only go up from there. It’s a luxury car which also packs quite a horsepower punch, and the driver was taking good advantage of his automobile. He came racing up to me, then had to slam on his brakes to avoid rear-ending me, even though I was ten miles an hour over the limit already. When I didn’t move out of my lane (since I was still coming up on the semi), he flashed his lights at me a couple of times and moved to within a few feet of my bumper.

But this genius decided not to wait for the Oldsmobile and me to maneuver around the truck and go back in the right-hand lane. Instead, he swerved sharply to the right, gunned the engine, and blew past me going at least ninety or ninety-five miles an hour. Just before he rear-ended the semi, he careened to the left, barely missing the semi’s rear bumper and forcing the driver of the Oldsmobile to jam on his brakes. There must have been less than a foot or two of room between the Mercedes and the Oldsmobile when the Mercedes pulled in front; I don’t think I’ve ever seen two cars be so close to hitting each other. I had to jam on my brakes too, and I barely managed to avoid hitting the Oldsmobile in front of me. The Mercedes just zoomed off into the distance, weaving in and out of traffic until he was lost to sight.

This happens more often than it should, but today was a little bit special. Ten minutes later, traffic started backing up because there were two flashing highway patrol cars parked on the right side of the interstate. When I came closer, I was only going about thirty miles an hour, and I saw that they had pulled over the Mercedes. The officers, hands on their pistols, were approaching the car from both sides, and they didn’t look very happy. As I passed the officer, we made eye contact and I just grinned at him. The driver of the Mercedes was literally pounding his steering wheel with his fists, yelling into dead air. I hope he has a huge fine to pay.

1 Comment »

  1. Shay said,

    lol Karma’s a beast

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